Everyone eats. Everyone consumes media of some kind. Almost everyone understands that there are a variety of restaurants that fit different purposes and markets. However, for media the People fail to grasp the similar structures.
Every once in a while a list of the best whatever comes out and people complain about their favorites being left out. These lists lean towards the upper end of the spectrum. Screaming why there is no burger Michelin star restaurant is just as logical1.
Let’s draw a comparison of the tiered structure of restaurant markets and then analyze where some products would fit.
The levels:
| Price | Tier | Restaurant | Media | Catchy name |
| $ | Fast Food | McD, BK | BIG MAC TIER | |
| $$ | Fast Casual | Chipotle, Panera | BOWL TIER | |
| $$$ | Sit-down | Applebee’s/ Chuy’s | FRANCHISE TIER | |
| $$$$ | Premium | Fogo de Chao/Ruth’s Chris Steak House | STEAKHOUSE TIER | |
| $$$$$ | Michelin | Prestige TV | FANCY TIER |
Let’s look at each tier and see some examples. It is important to think of good and bad versions of each.
BIG MAC TIER
The most powerful tier of all. Here lies your Hudson News catalog. Your smut delicacies. The insanely repetitive network TV shows.
Good Version: Bridgerton (TV series)
There a little bit for everyone in this show2. It’s generally just fun. A bit sexy here and there. Heir to the kingdom of romance paperbacks that keep publishing alive. Your think pieces are irrelevant3. Bridgerton also adds an important dimension to the list. The production value is not irrelevant but it is not that important. The source material is low investment and low production. The adaptation built a lot of value onto it, but it is still a sexy BIG MAC.
Bad Version: Kindle Unlimited catalog.
Other examples: Louis L’Amour westerns. Most westerns tbh. Most mainline romance novels.
BOWL TIER
The realm of genre fiction. It is also where the quality varies the most. So many of the works in this level thinks they are way above their station or aiming to the BIG MAC but ended up being a bit too juicy.
Good Version: Romantasy (books)
Putting all of a genre in here is not that accurate. I am just not that versed on these works. The ones I’ve read (ACOTAR) sit here for sure. They have a lot of the genre fiction DNA and the BIG MAC energy of paperback romances. However, they have a higher entry fee (ie they are longer, have a bunch of fantasy conventions in them etc).
Bad Version: Big Bang Theory (TV series) / Ready Player One (book)
Both exist for “nerds” and “geeks”. They rely heavily on references, eventually become self-referential. The brand of humor is not funny on purpose. Ready Player One fans4 would argue that it is a much higher quality level material. It is not. It is a misshapen burrito made of scraps from a Taco Bell.
Other examples: All the white woman unreliable narrator crime novels go here. They span the width of good (Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl) and bad versions (Local Woman Missing5, Silent Patient6) of the tier.
FRANCHISE TIER
Stephen King stand up! You too, Taylor Jenkins Reid! John Grisham, you too. Yes, yes, calm down, James Patterson.
These are a book a year, high volume of sales writers, regardless of quality. Some years you get an incredible book, some the worst thing you’ve ever read. Book stores will always stock them because they will sell.
Good version: Mr. Mercedes (book)7
A departure from his other books, Mr. Mercedes is a detective novel. It’s a somehow awesome quesadilla from Applebee’s that was in the menu for a couple of years never to return.
Bad version: James Patterson with [INSERT NAME HERE]
Bruh. It is a step too far to have your ghost writers write for two people now. He has done it with Bill Clinton THREE FUCKING TIMES! Not to be confused with the series where the name after with is the previously ghostly writers8.
Other examples: Atmosphere, TJR
NOTE: Actual franchise, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe or Star Wars, are spread all over. They mostly cluster on the BIG MAC tier with the occasional BOWL. From time to time they take risks and go above this level. Those usually fail.
STEAKHOUSE TIER
The thousands of pages tomes go here. The cost is high. You have to invest so much time into these things that they become intolerable for most people. You know what you are getting! A steak or five. Usually more than that. You will have the meat sweats9. Those who love it, will always love it but this will not reach the masses.
Good Version: The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson
It’s a billion words long. It requires another hundred or so readings including: novels, novellas, blogposts and transcripts of interviews.
Bad version: A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin
It’s a billion words long. It requires another hundred or so readings including: novels, novellas, blogposts and transcripts of interviews.
Other Examples: [YOUR FAVORITE LONG ASS GENRE FICTION HERE]
FANCY TIER
The tier for the prestige TV, literary fiction, Oscar bait movies. Sometimes good, sometimes pretentious, sometimes overdone, always expensive.
Good Version: Andor (TV show)
The exception that proves the rule. Andor is a well made, well written tv show. No Star Wars is actually good except Andor maybe. Might be too high for Andor but whatever.
Bad Version: The Road by Cormac McCarthy
Everything about this book indicates I should like but I don’t. The End.
Other Examples: Succession, GOT, Pulitzer Prize winners.
- There might be. I don’t know. I’m right. ↩︎
- Simone Ashley oO, respectfully. ↩︎
- hOw ArE BlAcK pEoPle NoBleS? King horny that’s how. ↩︎
- and Ernest Cline, the author, I suppose ↩︎
- Yes, it is a real ass book by Mary Kubrica. ↩︎
- Alex Michaelides, a mans. ↩︎
- Stephen King ↩︎
- There are so many. ↩︎
- Have you ever wondered where the smell comes from? Look no further. ↩︎
Big Cat God Productions 