Big Cat God Productions

Rankings

Top 5s of all things good and bad in order of whatever I want

Books

Top 5 favorite1
  1. Starship Troopers – Robert Heinlein (1959)
  2. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd – Agatha Christie (1926)
  3. The Gunslinger – Stephen King (1982, sorta)
  4. Auto da Barca do Inferno – Gil Vicente2 (1519)
  5. Animal Farm – George Orwell (1945)

I don’t reread books as a rule. I have reread all of these multiple times. In past rankings, Wolves of the Calla, the fifth book in the Dark Tower series was in the top 5. The Gunslinger is the first book in that series so I put something else in.

Honorable Mentions with no links: Wolf Hall – Hilary Mantel3; FantasticLand – Mike Bockoven4; The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown5; The Fifth Season – N.K. Jemisin; Blacktop Wasteland – S. A. Cosby; Feminism is for Everybody – bell hooks6; On Writing – Stephen King; Never Let Me Go – Kazuo Ishiguro7; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – JK Rowling; The Sum of All Fears – Tom Clancy8

bottom 5 favorite
  1. Deception Point – Dan Brown (2001)
  2. Atlas Shrugged – Ayn Rand (1957)
  3. A Batalha do Apocalipse – Eduardo Spohr (2007/2010)
  4. Local Woman Missing – Mary Kubica (2021)9,10
  5. The Silent Patient – Alex Michaelides (2019)

I don’t DNF books either. The top three were DNF’ed in the first tries. Eventually I finished them but wow are they bad.

Dishonorable Mentions with no links: Digital Fortress – Dan Brown; The 1619 Project – Nikole Hannah-Jones11

Top 5 Authors
  1. Stephen King (mostly horror)
  2. S. A. Cosby (noir)
  3. N.K. Jemisin (fantasy)
  4. Stephen Graham Jones (horror)
  5. Agatha Christie (mystery)

If they publish(ed) something I will/have read it

Honorable Mentions with no links: Paul Tremblay; Arthur Conan Doyle; Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Bottom 5 authors
  1. Dan Brown (thriller)
  2. Ayn Rand (only god knows)
  3. Andy Weir (science fiction)
  4. Eduardo Spohr (fantasy/science fiction)
  5. Blake Crouch (thriller)

Never again. It is a split of bad writing (1-4), and terrible choices (3-5).

Top 5 Tropes
  1. The human condition
  2. The super poor, super powerful hero
  3. Fake documentary
  4. Descent into madness
  5. Fucked up scientists12
bottom 5 tropes
  1. ALIENS!
  2. Character regresses between books.
  3. Main character becomes a literal god.
  4. Surprise baby
  5. The one good cop
Top 5 Audiobook platform
  1. Libby
  2. NetGalley
  3. Hoopla
  4. Audible
  5. Fifteen K7 tapes
Bottom 5 Audiobook platform
  1. Spotify
  2. Youtube
  3. Apple Music
  4. Six CDs
  5. Bootleg mp3 of an author reading

Music

Top 5 songs
  1. Running Free – Iron Maiden
  2. Gay Bar – Electric Six
  3. Ariel – Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow
  4. Breaking the Law – Judas Priest
  5. Toxic – Britney Spears

Crimes, girls, and hilariously horny. Sounds about right.

Honorable mention: The Duck Song.

Bottom 5 songs
  1. Hotel California – Eagles13
  2. I’m Good (Blue) – David Guetta & Bebe Rexha14
  3. Meant to Be – Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line15
  4. Mr. Brightside – The Killers16
  5. Anxiety – Doechii
Top 5 albums
  1. Fire – Electric Six
  2. The Battle of Los Angeles – Rage Against the Machine
  3. Bronco – Orville Peck
  4. Vivid – Living Colour
  5. Powerslave – Iron Maiden
Top 5 Artists
  1. Iron Maiden
  2. Electric Six
  3. Demon Hunter
  4. B.B. King
  5. Old Gods of Asgard17

The fifth place is hard. It changes periodically. Queen, Sepultura, Bullet for My Valentine, Judas Priest, HammerFall, Ritchie Blackmore, RATM, FFDP, Hollywood Undead, Nirvana, Guns and Roses, Michael Jackson have been here.

Top 5 guilty pleasure songs
  1. Chasing the Dragon – Dream Evil
  2. Fireproof – Pillar
  3. Everywhere I go – Hollywood Undead
  4. Youth of the Nation – P.O.D.
  5. No One Gets Left Behind – Five Finger Death Punch

These songs either have disgusting lyrics/themes, or the artists are hella problematic. Google at your own peril.

Honorable mention: Get in the Choppa – Austrian Death Machine; Iced Earth; Pantera; Pissed off and Mad About it – Texas Hippie Coalition

Movies

Top 5
  1. Knives Out (2020)
  2. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
  3. Citizen Kane (1941)
  4. The Prestige (2005)
  5. The Dark Knight (2008) / The Batman (2022)

Honorable mentions: Black Panther (2018), Sinners (2025), Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979), Gladiator (2000), The Terminator (1984), The Lion King (1994), Planet of the Apes (1968)

bottom 5
  1. Avatar (2009)18
  2. Saw franchise (2004 – Infinity)19
  3. Interstellar (2014)
  4. The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride (1998)20
  5. Hellraiser (1987)21
top 5 directors
  1. Ryan Johnson
  2. Emerald Fennell
  3. Rian Johnson
  4. Greta Gerwig
  5. Christopher Nolan

TV Shows

Top 5
  1. The Americans
  2. Game of Thrones22
  3. Succession
  4. The Leftovers
  5. Modern Family

Honorable mentions: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Wheel of Fortune, Watchmen

bottom 5
  1. Friends
  2. Ancient Aliens
  3. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  4. The Office
  5. Blue Bloods

Video Games

Top 5 games
  1. Control (2019)
  2. Hades (2020)
  3. Age of Empires II (1999)
  4. League of Legends (2009 – Infinity)23
  5. Assassin’s Creed Origins (2017)

Honorable mentions: Civilization IV, Crusader Kings III, Winning Eleven 4, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

Top 5 franchises
  1. Civilization
  2. Crusader Kings
  3. Assassin’s Creed
  4. Madden/NCAA
  5. Winning Eleven/PES
Top 5 platforms
  1. PC
  2. Play Station 2
  3. Switch
  4. Xbox Series X
  5. Game Boy Color

Miscellaneous

Top 5 Top 5s
  1. Top 5 Books
  2. Top 5 Authors
  3. Bottom 5 movies
  4. Top 5 guilty pleasure songs
  5. Bottom 5 tropes
Top 5 Pet peeves
  1. People using slang that does not mean what they think it means
  2. Lines you don’t know what they are for
  3. Wearing outside clothes inside
  4. Knuckles that sound hollow24
  5. When someone asks if I am angry25
Top 5 Top 5s that did not make it
  1. Top 5 pornstars26
  2. Top 5 hottest people27
  3. Top 5 football plays
  4. Top 5 youtube videos28
  5. Bottom 5 dumb things people say

Epilogue

Why did I do this?

  1. I am losing my mind that’s why.
  2. Posting is self-care.
  3. I don’t want to do my actual work.
  4. It sounded fun.
  5. Possible compulsive behavior
  1. I have perfect taste therefore, favorite = best. ↩︎
  2. Technically a play. A Portuguese classic. Only the first one is the favorite. ↩︎
  3. First one out. ↩︎
  4. Not in the top 5 as I just read it and it could be recency bias. ↩︎
  5. Once upon a time Dan Brown had the distinction of being in both my top5 and bottom 5. ↩︎
  6. If a had a separate nonfiction ranking this would be number one. ↩︎
  7. Former top 5. ↩︎
  8. These last two are PROBLEMATIC. ↩︎
  9. Does not have a wikipedia page ↩︎
  10. I think the book might just be the straw the broke the camels back of the genre. ↩︎
  11. First one out. ↩︎
  12. Except the guy from Fullmetal Alchemist that makes a talking chimera. Fuck that guy. ↩︎
  13. Nightmare stuff song ↩︎
  14. This song makes me incandescently angry. ↩︎
  15. Date rape song ↩︎
  16. Cuckold song ↩︎
  17. I didn’t really have a fifth but this works. ↩︎
  18. It pretty. It bad. ↩︎
  19. Throw the whole thing in the trash bin ↩︎
  20. Baby me still hurt about this one. ↩︎
  21. I AM SCURRED ↩︎
  22. Ignore the last 2 seasons ↩︎
  23. It is also the worst thing that can happen to you. ↩︎
  24. She knows! ↩︎
  25. I wasn’t, now I am. ↩︎
  26. I don’t want to lose my job ↩︎
  27. See footnote 26 ↩︎
  28. Face is the place is #1, Leeroy Jenkins reenactment is #2, Duck Song #3 ↩︎

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